"I felt suicidal, I was ashamed that this was happening to me and I was allowing the abuse to continue with my children in the house."
For most of the victims, it is very difficult to recognize when a pattern of abuse has developed in their relationship. Instead, they often see abusive behaviors as isolated, unrelated incidents. Yet, abuse often happens in cycles, with abusive episodes interspersed with periods of calm, loving support, and affirmation — nurturing and caring that initially drew the two partners together. However, the element of abusive pattern that develops can often become predictable and a source of tension, even during periods of calm.
''Since the abuse takes place behind closed doors, it is often denied by the victims themselves.''
A True Story of: Susan. It was a abusive relationship?
Susan was just 18 when she first met and fell in love with Ulner, a 26-year-old man she saw on stage.
Ulner was a bass guitarist in a popular local band, while Susan had just finished her first year of college.
They started dating immediately. Eventually, they got married and started a family, with Susan working at a health-insurance company.
At first, Ulner was just controlling, not so different from her own father. But, the more she complied, the more he demanded.
"The controlling (Controlling behaviours) was absolutely there from the beginning. … Without me recognizing it," Susan said.
The physical abuse started more than 10 years into the marriage, when, according to Susan, she forgot an item at a nearby grocery store.
"He hurt me," Susan said. "He hurt me badly. I just couldn't believe it. It's like you're almost outside your body watching and saying, 'This can't be happening.'"
Susan said that Ulner cut her off from her father and her family for many years, leaving her isolated with no one to talk to, and completely under his control.
Susan Goes Back to Work
In 2002, the family started struggling financially, and Susan returned to work at a new job.
The only escape she had from her controlling and abusive home life was her new friend and boss, Lynne Jasper. read more
Story Source: http://abcnews.go.com/2020
Domestic abuse happens in all social groups. Whilst it might be aggravated by stress, unemployment, poverty, alcohol or mental illness – it is not caused by it. And no woman ever deserves it.
Thousands of women they a too afraid or too ashamed to tell anyone what is going on at home. They go about their daily lives as though nothing untoward is happening, and the abuse continues
I asking you to have patience and compassion for victims of domestic violence. It is important to realize women stay with abusers for many reasons. Judging and placing blame on victims only drives them farther into silence. Please remember, leaving an abuser is not a decision, it’s a process. Stick it out, be supportive of your friend, family member or coworker. You may be their Only Hope.”
Remember together we have the power to make a difference...
So spread the word, break the silence. Don't wait for tomorrow, May someone need you right now 'Spread it now......