Think what it's like to live with domestic viole

Don't mistake delay for denial by life.
Have you've never experienced
domestic violence it can be difficult to imagine just what those affected have to go through.

We all know what a bully is...

Just imagine living with a bully all the time, but being too scared to leave.

Just imagine being afraid to go to sleep at night, being afraid to wake up in the morning.

Just imagine being denied food, warmth or sleep. Imagine being punched, slapped, hit, bitten, pinched and kicked.

Just imagine being pushed, shoved, burnt, strangled, raped, beaten.

Just imagine having to watch everything you do or say in case it 'upsets' the person you live with - or else you'll be punished.

Just imagine having to seek permission to go out, to see your friends or your family or to give your children a treat.

Just imagine being a prisoner in your own home - imagine being timed, when you go out to the shops.

Just imagine that you believe what he tells you - that it's your fault. That if only you were a better mother, lover, housekeeper, kept your mouth shut, could only keep the children quiet, dressed how he liked you to, kept in shape, gave up your job - somehow things would get better.

Just imagine that you don't know where to get help, what to do, or how to leave.

Just imagine that you can't face the shame of admitting what's really going on to family or friends.

Just imagine his threats if you dare to say you will leave. How could you ever find the strength to leave? Will you ever be safe again?

Just imagine threats to find and kill you and your children, wherever you go.

Just imagine permanent injuries and sometimes death.

"Well 'I don't think people who have never suffered violence can understand the trauma of being the victim of violent behaviour, nor the difficulties involved in trying to escape from that behaviour."

Often the reason is precisely that - the cumulative effect of repeated physical and psychological trauma destroys confidence and self-belief. Imagine what life would be like if a violent attacker had the key to your front door…and just imagine how powerless you would feel if your partner had threatened not only you but your whole family. The impact of continued abuse in intimate relationships can be devastating. Women escaping these horrific circumstances can often be heard to say, "but he loves me it’s my fault.I keep making mistakes"


Deb said...

I have just completed a book titled Family Terror that is available at The name of the book is significant. By calling this abusive behavior domestic violence or a domestic dispute we give permission for the violence not to be taken seriously. If a fight happened in a fast food restaurant we would not call it a hamburger dispute. It would be a crime. Also, Family Terror is a crime.
And there lies the ultimate solution. We don’t need more conventional shelters. In fact we will need fewer conventional shelters if only we treat “Family Terror” as a crime. The abuser is the criminal. It is not a logical solution to hide the victim and let the abuser run free. There are technical methods to guarantee protective orders are enforced.
If we continue down the path we are currently on, this violence and its results will multiply with each generation. Stop and think about one abuser and victim and their children. How many lives will be impacted in the next generation or next 50 years because of these people? Keep in mind that most children grow up to be either a victim or an abuser if they were raised in that environment. It is also important to note that 80% of the people who are incarcerated today grew up in abusive homes. So each of these crimes causing the incarceration, also had victims as well.
The most prudent use of funds is stopping the abuser. If the abuser is stopped, many things will change for the better. This abuse is the TRUE SILENT EPIDEMIC in our country.
Anytime there is a great deal of money being passed around, there is going to be issues embraced that are selfish and not wholesome to the good of the cause.
The big question is how can we the proper solutions started and cease the improper band aid expenses that are just plain wasteful of our tax money.

ana said...

I got out of an abusive relationship 2yrs ago, and i felt i had nobody to turn to i felt so ashamed to admit what i was going through to anyone. my children suffered and still are from nightmares and flash backs, I still feel as if its my fault that my children had to see such things happen to there mum, I find a comfort in your site and just would like send a big hug to every woman who has taken those steps to get away and to those still in their relationship DONT GIVE UP!