The batterer always blames the Victim for causing the violence.
One of the Strange things about abuser's is that most of them, "presumably without ever talking to one another - say exactly the same things to their partners.
The Victim shoud understand the hurtful and abusive things there partner may say, are not true. most likely they are only attempts to avoid responsibility or are said to make it difficult for victim to leave.
These are some of common things abusers say:
- You're so stupid / Worthless / Ugly / Fat.
- You don't even know how keep the house in a decent state / you're a bad mother and hopeless cook / frigid / bitch/ whore / no-one else would want you, you're lucky to have me. (He means: I'm the victim here.)
- If you tell anyone else about the abuse... you'll be sorry / no-one will believe you / I'll report you to social services as an unfit mother. "You don't know who you're up against.(He means: I'll have the last word.)
- If you try or leave me. You will never get away / you couldn't cope without me / no-one else will have you / I'll snatch the kids and you'll never see them again / I'll track you down and find you even if it takes years and then I'll kill you so you'll never be able to live in peace never knowing when it will happen. (He means: I'll win, no matter what it takes.)
- If you leave me I'll kill myself and you'll have to explain to our children why their dad is dead and it'll be on your conscience for the rest of your life. (Emotional blackmail)
Read more: Forms of Domestic Violence AGAINST Women
I am asking you to have patience and compassion for victims of domestic violence. It is important to realize women stay with abusers for many reasons. Judging and placing blame on victims only drives them farther into silence. Please remember, leaving an abuser is not a decision, it’s a process. Stick it out, be supportive of your friend, family member or coworker. You may be their Only Hope.”
"I got the power to live my life. It was a very tough decision, but I am happy because a lot of women have spoken out and are standing up for themselves. It wasn't an easy decision, but it has done a lot of good."
I don't feel like I'm a hero," Rania says. "… I feel that no woman should be a victim to her husband, or a victim in anyway. A woman should have the ability to choose her own destiny."
Remember together we have the power to make a difference...
So spread the word, break the silence. Don't wait for tomorrow, May someone need you now......