"I kept on staying with him because I thought all marriages required the wife to suffer, I did not know I deserved better."
Might you don't know but mostly Domestic violence always follows a pattern that is described as the cycle of abuse or cycle of violence. It is a pattern of living in which one person (usually the man) uses violence or other abusive behavior to control and maintain power over a partner, or other family member. It may include verbal abuse, psychological abuse, economic abuse, physical abuse and sexual abuse. The impact of continued abuse in a relationships is devastating, It low down the self-esteem and quality of life of victims and their children.
Domestic violence is part of a continuing cycle that's very difficult to break. if you're in an abusive relationship, you may recognize this pattern:
"He would bring me flowers and gifts the very next day after beating' me... I used to love the day after until things were getting worse and worse." He would say he was sorry and promise to change, but then about one month later he would go right back to kicking and punching. He even grabbed my throat once!"
THE CYCLE OF VIOLENCE:
Forms of Domestic Violence Click Here
The first part known as the “tension building”. During this stage, the batterer becomes edgy, irritable or impatient. The victim senses the batterer’s increasing tension, knowing he’s getting ready to explode. She walks on eggshells, being careful of what she says and how she acts. She may start hiding things which can be used as a weapon. The victim’s attempts to alleviate the tension are futile, and the tension explodes into violence.
The second part known as the “Violent Episode” . It is the shortest but most intense period. The batterer explodes and the victim is abused. The batterer may make unreasonable demands upon the victim. He may yell at the victim for hours, destroy something that has special meaning to her, or give out severe physical punishment. The physical abuse can range from pushing, slapping and punching to torture, rape and murder.
The third period known as the “Absence of Violence or Honeymoon Phase”. During this time, the defendant is kind, thoughtful, charming, and remorseful. He may tell the victim that he is sorry, that he loves her, and that he will never act that way again. He may bring her flowers or buy her an expensive gift. He may also minimize the violence and place the blame on the victim for causing the violence. After a period of time, the cycle begins again.
This is what makes domestic violence so confusing. I can't count how many times a survivor has told me, ("But sometimes he's so sweet! And he's not a monster! We've had some good times too! I loved him - I still do really. He put me in hospital twice but I just melted when I saw him crying. I thought hitting me showed he cared. I believed him when he said he would change.")
Domestic violence increases in frequency and severity. It is never an isolated incident or a one-time occurrence.
"Read this small Story of a girl name Margie"
This is a painful one for Shirley and her husband Larry their daughter Margie was brutally murdered by the man who claimed to love her, Margie’s husband. “It’s easy to look back now and see the warning signs,” states Shirley. “But back then our family did not realize that the verbal attacks were escalating into physical assaults until it was too late.
I ask you to have patience and compassion for victims of domestic violence. It is important to realize women stay with abusers for many reasons. Judging and placing blame on victims only drives them farther into silence. Please remember, leaving an abuser is not a decision, it’s a process. Stick it out, be supportive of your friend, family member or coworker. You may be their Only Hope.”
Remember together we have the power to make a difference...
So spread the word. Don't wait for tomorrow, May someone need you right now 'Spread it now......
