Why can't women leave abusive relationships?

It is well documented that women who experience domestic violence can find it difficult to leave a violent relationship. The prospect of asking for help can be daunting for a woman who is feeling isolated, and whose self-esteem has been lowered by abuse.

"He turned everyone against me. I had no friends, no social life, no support. He got the children to keep track of my movements and tell him what I'd been doing and who I'd talked to. I knew he'd never let me go."

Leaving a relationship, no matter how abusive, is never easy. Women who leave relationships often have to opt for living in poverty. That's a very difficult choice to make. There are many social, cultural factors that contribute to encouraging women to stay and try and make the situation work. Often, violence is a familiar pattern for the woman, as well as the man. In addition, women often love the men who abuse them, or at least love them initially. Men who batter are not 100 percent hateful, but they can be loving and attentive partners at times. Some women remain emotionally and/or economically dependent on the batterer despite the fact that she faces continued abuse if she stays with him. Women are at highest risk of injury or violence when they are separating from or divorcing a partner. Women can be very intimidated by a partner and the consequences of her leaving. It takes a long time for a woman to give up hope in a relationship and to recognize that the only way she can be safe is to leave him.

"My mother, his mother, our counsellor and our minister all told me I should stay... They said he was trying to change and I needed to support him. I waited through six years of hell."

The impact of continued abuse on woman in intimate relationships is devastating.

I asked you before and i am asking you again to have patience and compassion for victims of domestic violence. It is important to realize women stay with abusers for many reasons. Judging and placing blame on victims only drives them farther into silence. Please remember, leaving an abuser is not a decision, it’s a process. Stick it out, be supportive of your friend, family member or coworker. You may be their Only Hope.”

Remember together we have the power to make a difference...

So spread the word. Don't wait for tomorrow, May someone need you right now 'Spread it now......

A Comment:

Thank-you for your work raising awareness about domestic abuse. The information you offer is life saving. I was in an abusive relationship--my ex controlled all the money. I could not earn money by getting a job because my ex refused to watch the children, which meant all my pay would go to daycare. He was also very abusive towards the children. In order to leave, I had to go on public assistance and even live in my car. It was very difficult to leave because my ex was stalking me--and friends were afraid to take me in. I was in such a bad place, emotionally, that I would not consider going to a shelter. I could not accept that I was abused. I assumed it was my fault that my life was falling apart, I believed all the insults and names screamed at me over the years. My advise is to love yourself unconditionally. NO ONE deserves to be hurt, to be made to live in fear. Seek help because you are worth it. And if you have kids, you can stop the cycle of violence.